The June Delusion

Deep in the gloomy hollow of winter, I picture June.  I imagine running outside with only flip flops on my feet rather than snow boots, I picture my kids chasing each other around the yard, riding bikes and playing in the sand box...I picture time on my hands to relax, to drink beer on the porch, to nap in the hammock.  And every year, I am completely delusional. 

I think how wonderfully unencumbered I will be to not have to run kids around to school functions, how much extra time I will have since the days are so much longer, I imagine the fantastic mini-vacations we can plan.  Again, I am delusional.

I find myself mystified by how May seemed to evaporate before I even registered its existence, and then I find myself standing in front of the calendar in the kitchen with jaw dropped open wondering how it could be the middle of June already?!  And what is even more worrisome is that there isn't an "unscheduled" day on the calendar until sometime the end of July. 

This happens every year, you would think that I would learn by now.  The kids get out of school and rather than being one organized, unified family of children, they spin off like so many pin balls in every different direction.  There are friends to see, camps to go to, parties to attend, 4-H to prepare for, jobs to do....multiplied by five.  I feel like a pinball flipper that just tries to keep them all in play, while simultaneously gardening and working full time.  

My days generally start before the sun is up and, with kids insisting that they stay up later since it is summer, the days end much, much later than they should.  My hands have achieved their "permadirt" status with dirt ground into the calluses and blisters from living in the garden.  There will be no end in site to the amount of produce to be picked, blanched, frozen, processed, canned, pickled.  And while each crop harvested is wonderful, it carries with it a boat load of work involved.  Throw into that a few vacations, a few parties, a few 4-H events and the summer is essentially over before my brain has wrapped around the fact that it is June.

That's not to say that I would change any of it. 

Despite the fact that most days start out with coffee and ibuprofen just to get sore joints and aching muscles up and functioning, despite the fact that I have been seeing roughly 20 out of 24 hours of each day for the last few weeks and seeing precious little of my bed and pillow.....I wouldn't change any of it.  There usually comes a moment in each crazy, hectic day when something small happens - a cold beer gets pulled from the fridge to be enjoyed for a few minutes on the porch, a kid learns to ride a bicycle,  a rainbow shows up after a storm, a fledgling bird suddenly takes wing, one of the cats comes to rub up against you and purrs while you're weeding....little things that implant themselves in my brain and are the fodder for my mid-winter delusionment.

I initially started this post as justification as to why I haven't written since the middle of May, but then again....there just hasn't been time....and I have been having too much fun.