The Space Between

The space between Halloween and Thanksgiving is quite possibly my least favorite time of the year.  There are many reasons for this:

1.   Halloween is over and the next time there will be this much chocolate in the house is probably Valentine's day, which seems like forever.

2.   There are often elections and I am constantly, unrealistically hopeful that somehow, this time, people will be smart enough to elect individuals that will miraculously save the planet from the horrible tipping point it is about to go over.....and I am completely depressed every time.

3.   All the un-realized expectations for the year come home to roost - the green house that didn't quite happen, the fourth planting of lettuce that didn't happen, moving flowers that desperately need to be thinned and moved. And although, technically it isn't too late.....it's too late.

4.   The weather suddenly turns rainy and cold - not cold enough to snow, just cold enough to be dreary and miserable.

5.   The darkness starts to sink in earlier and earlier as the earth slowly rounds the corner on her mission around the sun and we speed the process with the "fall back" in our attempts at maximizing our sunlight hours.

 6.   I check off another year on my life's calendar.

The final reason is probably the most likely for why I enter into this late fall funk.  I don't remember when birthdays stopped being fun and started to be something that you more or less dread, but it happened a while ago for me. 

I would like to say that I have a great way of working myself out of this funk.....but I don't.  I wallow in it for a while.  Depressed by the dying flowers that hang on the vines, saddened by the small green tomatoes that never did get to the stage of ripening.  Resenting having to start fires to keep the house warm at night, and finding all the kids' coats, hats, boots and mittens that I know will, from now until May, lay all over the entry and drive me crazy.   I, quite honestly, am completely pathetic at this time of year.  I am a car out of gear and I can't seem to shift into anything productive.

Until it snows or Thanksgiving arrives....whichever comes first. 

If they both come together....well, so much the better.  The snow covers over all the brown and wilted and makes it look crisp and clean.  Thanksgiving officially kicks off the holiday season, although to enter into any shopping store around Halloween is to to be inundated with Christmas stuff - it's really kind of depressing.  I was in one craft store over a week ago and it looked as though Christmas had vomited all over one section of it.  I stayed well away from this section.....but, I digress...  By "holiday" I don't mean "shopping"  - I absolutely hate to shop, but I love the feeling of the holidays.  Family and friends near, card games late into the night, blustery snowstorms during which you can camp out in bed with a good book, spiced wine, the smell of pine trees.....  The first part of winter, before the cabin fever sets in and drives everyone crazy -that is the holiday season in my mind. 

Once this season rolls around, it feels as though I am finally in gear again to get something done in the house.  This winter's mission is to finally get a bedroom.  Yes, sad, but true.  We have been living in this house now for almost 9 years and my husband and I have been camping out in what I call "the wreck room"  Our bed is there, along with the computer and until recently a television and a ton of toys.  It was generally where the entire family would congregate at various times to try to watch a movie, play computer games or just generally come to harass me in my vain attempts at sleeping in.   Nightly, I typically crash into a computer chair or two and step on a Lego or Barbie shoe on my way to bed. 

No more.   I have visions in my mind of a quiet place of solitude to which I can retreat as needed and not be disturbed by my pack of children.  Maybe this is a bit of a delusional idea, but it is what I envision to try to help me get back in gear. 

Of course, what is required to make this happen is for me to move everything out of this room so that I (and my husband) can redo the floors, wall and ceiling.  This is a bit daunting to say the least.  Especially now.... at this time of year when I am busy being old and pathetic.....maybe after a few more pieces of Halloween candy, checking the weather report in the hopes of at least one more 70 degree day and sending off a few more letters to my delinquent Congressmen, or maybe.... I will just hold out for the snow.